Kayla, 20, Iowa. I am the queen of sass. Closeted fanfiction writer, baker, barista, intense feminist. I like butts, superheroes, space, pretty clothes, and flowers.

mikeyfriskeyhands:

My brother saved this document and everytime he gets angry at our neighbours for being loud he prints it to their wireless printer and you can hear the wife shout “Why the fuck would you print this AGAIN?!” to her son.

renfamous:

British Kitchen Nightmares: “The risotto is overcooked and your restaurant needs new lighting.”

American Kitchen Nightmares: “YOUR STAFF DOES DRUGS ON THE CLOCK, YOUR FAMILY THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE AND THERE’S A LIVE RAT IN MY FOOD.”

"Why is it that you freak out at the idea of fingering? I didn’t put that prostate in you, Jesus Christ did and I’m sure he had a good goddamn reason, buck the hell up."

Actual conversation between two straight guys at my bar tonight (via trickwolves) ←